


they say lightning don't strike twice

by princessmeganerd



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Dissociation, First Kiss, Getting Together, Internalized Homophobia, Jealousy, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, VERY SLIGHT dubcon kissing, again pretty... slight, another au where all the lads are single, like permission is not asked but both are definitely into it, promise this ends happily, somewhat mavin-centric, very brief cheating
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2016-12-31
Packaged: 2018-09-13 19:09:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,574
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9137494
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/princessmeganerd/pseuds/princessmeganerd
Summary: Somehow it hit Gavin like a punch to the gut. His impulse was to curl up, to jerk away, to somehow rip off imaginary headphones and go back to reality, but thiswasreality. Reality now involved Jeremy and Michael dating.ORJeremy and Michael start dating. Gavin is very, very jealous, and does not want to think about why.





	

**Author's Note:**

> The Jeremavin content that everyone was craving, definitely.

Somehow it hit Gavin like a punch to the gut. His impulse was to curl up, to jerk away, to somehow rip off imaginary headphones and go back to reality, but this _was_ reality. Reality now involved Jeremy and Michael dating.

They were holding hands, addressing the Achievement Hunter office with shy smiles. Gavin couldn’t follow what they were saying. He kept watching their lips and hearing the sounds of their voices, but nothing made sense after “Jeremy and I are dating.” That sentence, horribly, made perfect sense.

Gavin had seen them, hadn’t he? He’d hung out with both of them enough, all the time, really, to see the little touches and the fond looks and to hear Michael speculate about being bisexual. He’d noted Jeremy blushing when Michael gave him presents. 

He wasn’t feeling surprised. He was feeling something else.

“I’m surprised,” said Ryan. Gavin’s comprehension was coming back. Great. “Not to be rude, but I had no idea you were into dudes, Jeremy.”

“Yeah, well.” Jeremy stuck an arm behind his head in that endearing way he had. “I guess that means you haven’t hacked every part of my life for some evil plot yet.”

“That _was_ kind of rude, Ryan. But it’s okay. My boyfriend and I forgive you.”

“Oh, lord, you’re going to be one of those, huh,” sighed Geoff. “Gotta love that honeymoon phase.”

“At least Jeremy didn’t carry him over the office threshold,” said Jack. “But seriously, you guys, that’s great.”

“Don’t get emotional, Jack,” Michael scolded him, but he was smiling.

“Are you okay, Gav?” Jeremy asked, concerned.

“Didn’t get enough sleep last night,” Gavin lied. “Uh, congrats on touching tips.”

“Gross,” said Jack.

“Yeah, dude, gross. We did buttsex, like normal people.” Michael wiggled his eyebrows. 

“Oh my god, it’s time to work,” said Geoff. 

Jeremy looked like he wanted to say something else, but Gavin put his headphones on and clicked around in his email until he was sure no one was looking at him. 

He knew exactly what he was feeling, the word _jealousy_ reading over and over in his mind like ticker tape, but he refused to look more closely at it. When it came to things he didn’t like, Gavin was a fundamentally passive person. Ignoring things until they went away didn’t always work, but it worked sometimes. 

He hoped this was one of those times.

Michael was sitting right next to him, as always, and Gavin could see him breaking into unprompted smiles. His smiles were normally something Gavin cherished, and he wanted to shake himself into enjoying them again. At one point, Michael even bit his lip and put a hand to his face as he smiled at Jeremy, which was stomach-flipping in more ways than one.

“Yo, Gav! Play Pals time?” 

“Yeah, just let me…” Gavin gestured vaguely at his unopened and unread emails as if he’d been doing something with them for the past twenty minutes. 

“I’ll go make sure no one’s in the back room.” As Michael left, Gavin allowed himself one long sigh. He would count to ten, and at ten he’d be feeling normal again. One… two…

“Buddy?” Gavin opened his eyes to see Jeremy sitting in Michael’s seat. “You sure you’re good?”

“I’m fine,” Gavin snapped. 

“Jeez, if you say so.” Jeremy held up his arms in surrender and went back to his desk. It hurt to see him go, but it would’ve been worse to try to explain himself. Okay. He’d been in a major motion picture. He was an actor, he could fool everyone into thinking he was okay.

Everyone except himself.

Of course, they weren’t going to tell the fans about the relationship. It was sort of an unspoken company rule that romances stayed secret until it was clear they’d be long-lasting. Still, Gavin thought the audience would be able to tell something was up with Michael. He was even more energetic than usual, which Gavin had not thought was possible until Michael stood up and did a full-blown dance during their Play Pals song. 

“Dun-dun-dun! Fuckin’ Play Pals! Play Pals, yeah!” Michael sang, spinning his empty chair around. Gavin had to laugh, and for the hour or so that they recorded, most thoughts of Jeremy and Michael’s relationship disappeared and he was able to concentrate on the game. It wasn’t Gavin’s best performance, but Michael’s enthusiasm more than made up for it.

“Alright, not half bad,” said Michael, clicking off the recording software. 

“Half good, I’d say.”

There was a knock on the door, and Michael answered. It was Jeremy, and for once Gavin wished it was an intern or something.

“Hey, babe,” Jeremy greeted Michael.

“Hey, Lil J.”

Gavin saw them kiss in the face cam and suppressed the urge to minimize the window. He didn’t know if the nicknames or the kiss hurt more. He pulled out his phone and flipped aimlessly through apps.

“Gavin, you wanna come over tonight and have bevs?” asked Michael. His arm was casually slung around Jeremy’s shoulders. “We can watch that movie you wanted to see on Netflix.”

“With both of you?”

“Duh,” said Jeremy. “Like usual.”

“I gotta pass.”

“Aww, why, boi? We’ll miss you.” Would they?

“I have too much Slow Mo work.” Gavin had finished editing all the videos for the next six months, but Michael didn’t need to know that.

“Sucks to suck,” shrugged Michael. “Guess we’ll see you some other time.”

“Yeah.” Gavin turned back to the computer and began file management for the video, trying not to listen to Jeremy and Michael leave.

-

To Michael’s credit, he tried again and again to see Gavin “some other time.” That weekend it was to see a movie. The next it was to play Mario Party. Then to go to a party Barbara was throwing. He even tried to get Gavin to go downtown, like they used to in 2012. 

Gavin turned it all down.

He spent night after night alone in his empty apartment, playing video games or doing work or simply sitting there until his sense of reality began to unravel. He hadn’t realized just how much he relied on Michael and Jeremy to make him do something, anything. 

Of course he still saw them at work, and they tended to be professional, but some PDA just had to creep into their routine. They’d kiss each other hello and goodbye, and everyone else was unable to resist the fodder for teasing. Gavin thought if he heard one more joke about who topped he was going to scream.

“They’re working you too hard, dude,” Jeremy told him one afternoon as they waited for everyone to be collected to film Minecraft. 

“What do you mean?”

“You always used to be after me to go get drinks or whatever, but I never see you any more. Does Burnie have you working two jobs or some shit?”

“Kind of.” Asking for more work wasn’t a bad idea. He was already saying yes to as much travel as possible. Anything to fill the hours and distract him.

“I guess I’m glad the company doesn’t value me so highly,” Jeremy joked. Gavin wanted to tell him that he was one of the best hires the company had ever made, that he was talented and funny and kind, but instead he shrugged and booted up the game. 

-

It wasn’t that he liked doing this. It was that the alternative was too terrifying to consider. He longed for the days when the three of them could just hang out, but that was impossible, at this point. He was coping, he was dealing. No, he hadn’t really made any other friends, but he was doing fine on his own. His work was unaffected, so whatever.

He didn’t really like being on Off Topic nowadays, but only Michael, Ryan and Jack were on the list for the day, no Jeremy, and he had no excuse not to go. The first hour or so was fine, but once Michael had two beers in him, he decided that this was the time to call Gavin out.

“I haven’t had you over to my house in like a month, Gavin,” he accused, pointing his bottle at him. 

“I’ve been busy.”

“Maybe he’s ghosting you now that you’re in a relationship again,” suggested Jack. At this point the fans knew Michael was with someone, but not who. Gavin wondered if Jack was legitimately oblivious or legitimately trying to get them to reconcile. Either way, he didn’t like it.

“Is Gavvy sad that Team Lads isn’t Team Single any more?” Michael refused to look away from Gavin’s face. Gavin forced a laugh.

“Nah, I really am just busy,” he repeated. “You know how it is.”

“It’s probably good. Your secret boyfriend would be jealous,” Ryan told Michael. 

“Has your wife ever been jealous of you, Ryan?” asked Gavin, jumping at the chance to steer the conversation away from the previous topic. Jack made a joke about how no one could be jealous of Ryan, and things went back to normal for the rest of the show. 

Gavin made sure to leave as soon as the Last Call lights went up, dodging a significant look from Michael. He was late for a weekend of staring at his own ceiling and trying yet again to forget the current conditions of his life.

-

“What did I do, Gav?” Michael was speaking to him even though both sides of his headphones were securely on. It was lunch and Gavin had brought a sandwich to eat as his desk, as he had for the past two months. “What did I do?” Michael refused to go away, even after Gavin pointed at his ears. “GAVIN.” Gavin reluctantly pulled off his headset. 

“What’s up, Michael?”

“What the fuck did I do to piss you off?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Yes, you do. Why have you been trying to ghost me?”

“I’m not,” said Gavin, but even he knew it sounded like the lie it was.

“Gavin…” Michael tried. Gavin could do nothing but purse his lips. “Boi,” he tried again, the word making Gavin’s heart hurt.

“I’ve been busy, Michael.”

“Yeah, I’m fuckin’ sure. Gav, if you don’t tell me what I did wrong, I can’t fix it. And this means too much to me not to at least try.” Gavin’s pulse was racing in his ears. “Jeremy misses you too. He’s convinced you hate him now and he’s too scared to come talk to you.”

“I…”

“Listen, I get you’re working through whatever and you probably don’t wanna talk about this at work. But you’re stupid if you think you can shake me so easily. You’re my boi, dude.” His voice cracked a little on the last sentence. “Come talk to me when you’re ready, okay?”

All Gavin could do was nod. 

Fuck. He’d never wished more for some kind of feelings-erasing pill he could take. How had he gotten himself into this situation? This was the whole reason he hadn’t done… something… earlier. Something that he had put off or hidden away for years. Something he couldn’t even think about now without running into a wall of fear. 

Gavin went home early, unable to bear the sight of Michael or Jeremy at all. 

-

He gave it one day, two days, three days. Every time the cameras were off Michael would look at him with a painful mixture of hope and expectation in his eyes, and each time Gavin tried and failed to muster up the strength to say something. 

Why had Michael had to shatter his fragile balance? He’d been functioning before, but now the awkwardness was starting to enter videos. Lots of comments were saying they missed him.

It made him think of what Michael had said, that Jeremy missed him. Gavin honestly hadn’t thought Jeremy cared that much. His crush- yeah, fine, he’d allow himself to think the word- was one-sided, or so it had seemed. Not like what Gavin had with Michael. Or what Michael had with Jeremy, was more like it. 

Then again, he couldn’t blame Jeremy for not picking up on his signals. They weren’t so much signals as they were the feeble acts of a man who had been trying to ignore his own sexuality for years. 

He guessed Michael had beaten him to it. That was definitely one reason he was upset. But the other reason…

Gavin had just pulled the blankets over his head- he was lying in bed at 7PM because he’d lost control of his life- when he heard a knock on the door. He frowned. He wasn’t expecting any deliveries, and god knows he wasn’t expecting any friends. It was probably a political canvasser or something.

There was another knock. Then another, and another. Whoever it was clearly wasn’t going away, so Gavin dragged himself up and answered the door to find Michael glaring at him.

“Michael?”

“Time’s up, motherfucker!” Michael announced, shoving past him into the house with more force than was probably necessary to defeat Gavin, who was off guard and had about as much strength as a wet noodle. “We’re fixing this shit right now!”

“Michael, it’s late…”

“It’s seven o’clock, Gavin. You’re the one who’s fucking late for getting off your ass and telling me why you’re mad at me.”

“I’m not mad?”

“Like hell, dude! Do I have to literally hold you down and force you to tell me?”

“I-” Gavin cut himself off, then flung a couch pillow towards the door and bolted for the kitchen. It was Michael’s turn to be caught off guard, at least for a second, before he let out a disbelieving shriek and ran after Gavin.

What ensued was possibly the most emotionally fraught game of cat and mouse Gavin had ever participated in. Michael was stronger, but Gavin was faster, and he managed to evade Michael three times before he caught one of his wrists. As much as Gavin twisted, he couldn’t break free, and Michael pushed him against a wall, pinning both wrists above his head. Michael even pushed one of his legs between Gavin’s, blocking him from kicking him in the groin without hurting himself.

“Tell me what I did wrong!” Gavin thought his eardrums might burst, so loud was Michael in close proximity.

“Let me go!”

“Tell me!”

“It doesn’t matter!”

“It matters to me!” Gavin swallowed and closed his eyes. “Tell me or I’ll-”

“I wanted it to be me!” Gavin finally burst out. 

“What does that mean?”

“I always thought it would be me. You know. Who you’d go gay for.” Gavin didn’t dare open his eyes. He thought he might pass out. He’d never had his emotions affect him so physically before.

Michael was silent for a long time, and Gavin was considering opening his eyes when Michael finally spoke.

“I don’t even know how to unpack that,” Michael said hoarsely. 

“Me neither,” Gavin admitted. “I just. This all sounds really stupid. But I never even realized that I’d realized, you know?”

“That does sound really stupid,” said Michael, but Gavin could hear a very faint edge of teasing.

“I’m not like mad at you for dating Jeremy. I like Jeremy. I like-like Jeremy,” Gavin babbled, unable to stop himself now that he’d started and drawing confidence from keeping his eyes shut. “I never wanted to ruin what we had, um, you and me. I could never even let myself think about it? But it turns out I did think about it. I think about you.”

“You… think about me.” Gavin still couldn’t open his eyes. 

“I think about your smile?” Gavin squeaked. He wondered what part of his brain had decided now was the time to empty every single embarrassing mental file cabinet he had. “I think about your eyes. I think about your hands. I want… Jeremy got to and I wanted it to be me.”

“Fuck,” said Michael. And then, “Fuck it.”

In Gavin’s experience, he’d always closed his eyes when someone kissed him. This time, his eyes flew open when Michael’s lips met his. It was electric in the way that literally getting shocked by electricity was- almost painful, sudden, thrilling. 

Michael let Gavin’s wrists drop, and Gavin felt as though his hands were magnetically drawn to the back of Michael’s head to pull him in closer. It wasn’t so much a decision as it was pure instinct.

Michael grabbed him by the waist, making Gavin realize very suddenly how much he would like Michael to pick him up, to manhandle him, to touch him however he wanted. It was dizzying that Michael’s teeth were actually grazing his lower lip, that Michael was letting him hold on to his hair for dear life. 

It was dizzying for a moment before guilt slammed into his gut and he pushed Michael away. He was too tired to do it with any force, but Michael stopped instantly. There was an awful moment of silence, filled only by both of them panting.

“I’m sorry,” Michael said finally, similar guilt twisting his features. “Fuck. Shit. I came here to try to fix shit and my solution is to force my goddamn tongue down your throat-?”

“No, no, no,” Gavin interrupted. “I wanted that.” Where the hell had that come from? Both of them blushed a little at the admission. “It’s my fault. Don’t break up with Jeremy.”

“I-” Michael cut himself off, then, of all things, started laughing hysterically. 

“What?” Michael was starting to turn red. “Are you okay?”

“That’s a great question!” Michael replied, between giggles. “I just don’t know what the fuck my life is right now.”

“You’re- you’re bloody telling me.”

“What do I even do right now? Do I fucking text my boyfriend that I just yelled at my best friend for five minutes until we started making out?” Gavin had no response to that. Most of his responses were not functioning at the moment. 

“I don’t want you two to break up,” he repeated. “That’s one reason I tried to stay out of this.”

“Oh, Gavin.” Cautiously, Michael walked back towards him. “I may not be the poster child for emotional stability, but you can’t keep shit bottled up. Which is why I’m gonna do this.” He held out his arms, and Gavin hesitated for a moment before leaning into the hug. Michael was as warm as he’d been while they were kissing. 

“This is weird. We never do this.” Michael snorted.

“Yeah, no shit, there might be a reason we have weird no homo walls, dude.”

“God.”

“At least this isn’t cheating!” Michael’s voice was a little too bright, and Gavin felt his heart pang in his chest. 

“This isn’t your fault-”

“It kind of totally is. I kind of definitely kissed you.”

“I kind of definitely made you chase me around and said some, um, some stuff,” Gavin shot back. “It’s- it’s entrapment. And I kissed you back.”

“No. I mean, you did do that. You very much did that. But it’s not your fault.”

“Yes it is.”

“Nope.”

“Yes.”

“I fucking- whatever. I should call Jeremy.”

“Yeah,” Gavin agreed. Michael didn’t move. 

“Michael…” Gavin could actually feel him shaking. He stroked his hair, once, twice. Michael took a deep shuddering breath before stepping back and pulling out his phone. 

Gavin wasn’t sure if he could handle hearing the phone call, but he wasn’t sure if he could handle NOT hearing it, either, so he walked just to the edge of earshot and sat down on the couch. 

He was almost reaching some level of calm. Something had happened. He'd been honest, finally. It was a weight off his shoulders, albeit one that had been replaced by crippling guilt. 

“Hi, Jeremy.” Michael had started his call. “There's no good way to say this, so, um, I kissed Gavin. I have no excuse. I'm not calling to break up with you, but I get it if you want to break up with me. I'm really sorry. I know.” Gavin could hear the emotion in Michael’s voice, and he hoped Jeremy could too.

“Yeah. No. I get it. Um, at his house. Can he come over here? Gav?” At the mention of his name, Gavin realized Michael was addressing him and nodded hurriedly. If they were going to set one tree on fire, why not the whole forest? 

Michael must have eventually hung up- Gavin couldn’t concentrate on the rest of the conversation- because he joined Gavin on the couch. 

“What did he say?” 

“He didn't dump me.” That told Gavin exactly nothing. 

“Why's he coming here?”

“To talk, I guess.” 

They lapsed uncomfortably into the opposite of talking. Michael was sitting closer than he had in weeks, and Gavin tried not to think about the way his kisses felt or how desperately they had held each other. One part of his brain was trying to deny that it had ever happened, while another was greedily cataloguing every moment.

“Um,” said Michael suddenly, making Gavin jump. “I always wanted you too.” 

Gavin turned to stare at him, probably resembling nothing so much as an owl. He didn’t want to speak and jinx whatever Michael was about to say.

“Just so that you’re not the only one saying it,” Michael continued. “I thought about you a lot. I like you, I’ve always liked you. You just always denied that you could ever be into dudes. Not that I made it any easier on you to, like, confess or whatever. I was scared too. Of messing up what we had, and of the whole bisexual thing. So when Jeremy came along… that was an opportunity to deal with only one of those things.” 

“...so you like me?”

“Um. _Yeah_.”

“In like a wanting-to-kiss-me way.”

“Yeah, dude,” Michael repeated, covering his face. “How many times are you gonna make me say it?”

“Sorry.” Gavin paused. “We’re stupid, aren’t we?”

“No shit.”

They fell silent again, Gavin torn between stealing glances at Michael and looking at anywhere besides him.

“Poor Jeremy.” Michael was honest-to-god wringing his hands, which Gavin might have laughed at had they been in any other situation. “He signed up to work here and he had no idea he was getting into this… this… whatever we were just doing for like four years.”

“We’re so dumb.”

“The worst. Listen, I’m gonna go fucking crazy unless we distract ourselves somehow.” Michael stood up and walked over to the TV. He gave Gavin a weak smile and picked up the remote. “So let’s put on It’s Always Sunny.”

-

When Jeremy arrived an episode later, both Michael and Gavin sprang to get the door. Gavin relented and let Michael go, figuring Jeremy would want to see his boyfriend first. His heart rate had gone back to its insane and frantic speed, and he tried to take some deep breaths.

Michael led Jeremy into the living room, neither of them touching each other for what seemed like the first time in months. Gavin’s heart sank at the sight. As much as their relationship had made him jealous and kind of ruined his life, he couldn’t stand the thought of either of them getting hurt by ending it. 

“Hey, Gav.”

“Hi, Lil J.” Jeremy didn’t look angry, really, which was good? Maybe? Instead, he looked kind of lost and much more serious than usual. Well, he could join the club. 

“So you two…” Jeremy started. “You kissed.” Both Gavin and Michael nodded, guilty as naughty children. Gavin watched Jeremy’s throat work as he swallowed nervously. “Gavin. Is this why you’ve been avoiding us? Because you like Michael?”

Gavin was honestly sort of grateful that Jeremy was leading this interaction like an interrogation. Short answers, that’s what he could do.

“Yes.” Okay, that was out on the table. It was bothering Gavin that it wasn’t the whole truth, though, and he closed his eyes for courage again before he continued. “And you.”

“Wh- what?” Jeremy sounded genuinely surprised. 

“I like you, too, Jeremy,” he repeated, forcing himself not to mumble. “Which is why I went sort of bonkers when you two started dating.”

“Well- hold on, fuck,” said Jeremy. “I had a whole speech planned and you’re completely ruining it.” Michael laughed softly, making both Gavin and Jeremy look at him. Michael shrugged, but he’d broken the tension a little. 

“This is what I’ve been dealing with,” he told Jeremy. “I responded in a completely fucking inappropriate way but this is what’s up.”

“So we _all_ like each other,” said Jeremy. Gavin heard the words a few seconds before he processed them.

“Did you just say you liked _me_?” he asked, pointing at Jeremy and then back to himself. Jeremy blushed. 

“I, um, yeah.”

“Can we go two fucking seconds without shocking revelations?!” demanded Michael, flopping dramatically onto the couch. 

“I’ve liked both of you since I started working here,” said Jeremy, completely ignoring Michael.

“Jesus,” Michael muttered. “Today’s a fuckin’ day.” Gavin was mentally reviewing all his memories of Jeremy, trying to piece together _when_ and _how_. “I’m the worst fucking boyfriend in the world.”

“Michael, can we talk somewhere private?” asked Jeremy. “Sorry, Gav.”

“Do whatever you want!” said Gavin. “Don’t apologize to me.”

Jeremy offered Michael a hand to get off the couch, and they both disappeared somewhere deeper into Gavin’s house. He couldn’t hear them talking, which he supposed was intentional. He lay down on the couch himself, curling into a ball for maximum comfort.

It didn’t seem like they were going to break up. It didn’t seem like Jeremy wanted to kill Gavin. So logically, things could only really look up from here. Still, it was hard to focus on that and not just languish in pure _holy shit_. 

Eventually- Gavin wasn't sure how much later- Michael and Jeremy came back into the room. Gavin shot back to his feet when he heard them approach. 

“How are you doing, boi?” asked Michael with surprising tenderness. 

“I'm alright.”

“Good. Um, so, okay. We talked. Obviously, I shouldn’t have kissed you. And I’m never going to do something like that again.” Gavin nodded, his heart sinking a little. At least he’d have the memory of their kiss to keep him going.

“You make it sound like I’m madder than I am,” said Jeremy. “It’s true that you shouldn’t have kissed him, but I’m not mad that you have feelings for each other.”

“Why not?” asked Gavin, confused. “It’s ruining everything.”

“You can’t help it, though. It’s clear that you tried not to let it affect our relationship.”

“Until Michael showed up and I made him kiss me.”

“Did you actually _make_ him, though?” said Jeremy, raising an eyebrow. Gavin opened his mouth to reply, but Jeremy held up a hand to stop him. “It seems to me that what happened was some kind of expression of everything you’ve had pent up for months, years, whatever. I’d have been blind not to see it. I came here and was ready to say you two should go for it.”

“That’s crazy,” said Michael, echoing Gavin’s thoughts. “It’s not like kissing Gavin magically erased all my feelings for you.”

“Exactly!” exclaimed Jeremy. “Which is why I have a solution to this problem that you might think is too weird, but, uh, I’m just gonna say it. Why don’t all three of us. Uh. Date.” Michael and Gavin looked at each other.

“Is that allowed?” said Gavin finally. He had a million questions, but somehow that was the only one that made it out. Jeremy laughed.

“If we all wanna do it, why not?”

“But…” said Gavin. It seemed like too much, too good, more than he deserved. Surely there had to be a catch.

“That sounds pretty good, if you ask me,” said Michael slowly. “Plus think of the sex.” Gavin felt a strange mix of panic and wild excitement. He thought he might start hyperventilating.

“Michael, don’t scare him,” Jeremy scolded. 

“I’m not scared,” Gavin insisted. “This is just all moving really fast. I don’t… I’m not… I didn’t even want to think about being into dudes like two hours ago.”

“It took me a while to come to terms with, too,” said Michael. “Do you want another hug?” Gavin nodded, and Michael sat down with him, tentatively wrapping an arm around his shoulders. Jeremy hesitated before sitting on his right side and doing the same. 

“This is kind of gay,” said Gavin, somehow reduced to the most banal possible sentences. He could feel Michael breathing.

“Yeah,” agreed Michael.

“I don’t want to lose you, Gavin,” said Jeremy boldly. “We both missed you so much.”

“I missed you too.” Gavin paused, his heart rate gradually slowing. “So this… the three of us. Wouldn’t it be bad if we broke up? Like, for our jobs?”

“Gav, I don’t know if you noticed, but you pretty much dumped us already,” said Michael dryly. “It _was_ affecting our work. At this point it’s all or nothin’, baby.”

“Well, no,” corrected Jeremy. “It’s either we all date, we all go back to what it was before with Gavin living in some kind of misery cave, or Gavin can say no and we’ll all try to work on actually saying our feelings and staying friends anyway. I don’t think anyone wants to do the second one… but no pressure,” he insisted, disentangling himself a little and looking Gavin right in the eyes. Gavin swallowed.

“How would this even work?” he asked. 

“How about like this?” Jeremy took one of his hands and tilted his head towards Gavin’s, slow and cautious. It wasn’t like he was being subtle at all, but Gavin still felt absolute disbelief when Jeremy kissed him.

He had stubble, which was a new experience for Gavin, but he found that he didn’t mind it at all. They broke apart, and neither of them could help their shy smiles.

“Hot,” said Michael, making it sound like a joke. When Gavin looked at him, though, his face said otherwise. 

“Now you two,” said Jeremy. Neither Michael nor Gavin moved at first. “Fight fight fight kiss kiss kiss.”

“Oh my god,” Michael moaned. 

“You heard him,” said Gavin. Something was building inside him, a combination of the feeling he usually got from their banter and something newer and more exciting. He really had missed them.

“Well, if Mister J orders,” said Michael. Gavin didn’t have time to look for Jeremy’s reaction because Michael was kissing him for the second time, softer and sweeter but no less electric. They broke apart for breath, but Gavin couldn’t resist kissing him some more. This was allowed. This was okay. This was _fantastic_. 

“You two are fuckin’ something,” said Jeremy, half playful and half reverential. 

“This is all fuckin’ something,” agreed Michael. 

“Is that a yes, is the question,” asked Jeremy, looking at Gavin.

“What? Yes!” said Gavin. “I’m not kissing you for- for shits and giggles.”

“You’re not kissing me at all right now.” 

“I’d better correct that, I suppose.” 

This time, when Jeremy and Gavin kissed, it was more than a peck on the lips. Gavin found himself fully leaning into Jeremy, pressing him into the arm of the couch. Jeremy’s arms snaked around his chest, holding the two of them flush. They weren’t quite lying on top of each other by virtue of both their feet still being on the ground, but it was close. 

“Wow,” said Michael, again keeping his tone light but staring at them with half-lidded eyes. Gavin was no stranger to making out, obviously, but he’d never done it with more than one person at once before. He worried for a split second that Michael felt left out or something before he leaned down towards Gavin as well.

Michael wrapped his arms around the part of Gavin’s chest that wasn’t already taken up by Jeremy’s arms and brought his lips to Gavin’s neck, making him gasp. Jeremy immediately captured his lips again, and Gavin went nearly still, wanting to focus on the barrage of sensation.

“Doin’ okay, Gav?” asked Jeremy. Though Gavin would be loathe to admit it, it was nice that Jeremy was checking in with him. 

“I’m doing great,” he replied truthfully. All of his repressed fantasies were coming to life, and sure, the transition from repressed to fully realized was going at breakneck speed, but it’d take more than that to stop him and _oh my god Michael’s hand was on his thigh_. 

“I’m great too,” said Michael. He grabbed Gavin’s jaw, twisting him around to face him and sitting them all back up. Gavin moved to his knees, kneeling on the couch between them. “I like you so much, do you know that?”

“Yeah?” 

“Yeah.” He kissed him hard, holding the sides of Gavin’s face to keep him still. 

“Ooh, the rare sappy Michael,” said Jeremy, sliding his hands up the back of Gavin’s shirt. Gavin jumped a little at first, but made sure not to break the kiss with Michael. The combination of Jeremy’s touch and the air on his exposed skin was raising goosebumps. 

“Shut the hell up,” said Michael, once he was able to. 

“Make me,” Jeremy replied. To Gavin, it sounded like a well-rehearsed exchange. This time, though, he was squished between them again as they kissed across his shoulder. Their combined weight was comforting, somehow.

Michael giggled against Jeremy’s lips, breaking the kiss. He was much less hysterical than before, but he still had an edge of disbelief, of sheer incredulity. Gavin knew the feeling. It was incredibly heady to have them so close, so available, so willing. 

Experimentally, he pressed his lips to Michael’s pulse. Michael’s hand had been dislodged as he sat up, but he moved it back to Gavin’s thigh, briefly scrabbling for purchase on his skinny jeans before settling for just squeezing. Jeremy squeezed him, too, his hands resting at the top of Gavin’s hips by now. 

“Your heart is beating pretty fast,” Gavin whispered. He moved his hand down Michael’s chest, searching for the heartbeat that would match his pulse. 

Gavin was expecting a sarcastic reply, but all Michael did was shrug and let Gavin touch him. Gavin dared to let his hand wander down to Michael’s stomach, glancing up at him to check that it was still okay. 

Both of them looked at each other, wide-eyed and intense. Gavin heard Jeremy’s breath hitch behind him. Finally, Michael broke into a grin. Gavin smiled back. For a minute, Gavin considered moving his hand a little further, taking that last leap.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to go further. He was nearly overflowing with the urge to get his hands on any piece of Michael or Jeremy possible, to reaffirm that this was real, to give into all his desires, but for now? He still carried the last remnants of his fear and anxiety, and he knew he had to take it slow. 

He moved to hug Michael instead, again checking his face. The ferocity of Michael’s affection was plain, and actually pretty familiar. This was merely a recontextualization, albeit a miraculous one.

But it was miracle enough to be able to lean his head against Michael’s chest, to feel Jeremy settle in on the other side. Even this defied all expectation.

They lay there for a little while, Michael occasionally pressing a kiss to his forehead and setting his heart pounding again. Jeremy grabbed one of his hands and kissed his wrist, which felt nearly more intimate than their lip kisses. Jeremy gave a contented sigh, and something occurred to Gavin.

“Oh my god!” he exclaimed. “Do I finally get to see your dick, Lil J?”

That sent Michael into a fit of laughter and turned Jeremy completely red. 

“Dude,” giggled Michael. “It’s good.”

“Well,” mumbled Jeremy, embarrassed. “It’s not, like, spectacular.”

“Speak for yourself,” said Michael. Gavin raised an eyebrow at Jeremy.

“You’re ganging up on me. But sure, yeah. See my dick all you want.” Gavin giggled. 

“Holy fuck. How did I get so lucky?” said Michael. 

“With Jeremy’s dick?”

“No! Well, yes. But with… this.”

“We’ll see how it goes,” said Jeremy. But the way he looked at Michael, the way that had hurt Gavin so much before, the way he was now looking at Gavin- that said something a little more than _we’ll see how it goes_. 

It was almost scary, the certainty and happiness Gavin was feeling. Really, though, his miserable weeks had been the exception, not the rule. He’d always felt safe and happy with Michael, and Jeremy had slotted perfectly into their dynamic. 

This was normal. 

Gavin felt Michael kiss his ear.

Well, normal plus _that_. 

-

Gavin woke the next morning in near disbelief. Michael and Jeremy had stayed until about ten, then gone home, both of them kissing him goodbye and promising to text him. If his memories weren’t so vivid, Gavin might’ve convinced himself yesterday had been a fantasy.

He walked into work early, breaking his previous pattern of showing up as late as possible to avoid small talk. He was rewarded with Jeremy sitting alone in the Achievement Hunter office, already bent over work.

He looked up when Gavin walked in, and the smile that appeared on his face was nearly blinding. Gavin gave him a weird half-wave, laughing in surprise when he nearly ripped off his headphones and skipped across the room to kiss him.

“Enthusiastic.”

“Damn straight. I fuckin’ missed you, Gav.”

“Sorry.”

“Just don’t make our boyfriend break into your house and seduce you again.”

“That’s still not what happened-” Jeremy cut him off with another kiss. Gavin was getting a little more into it when they both heard the door open behind them and practically sprang apart. 

“It’s me,” said Michael, making them both sag in relief. “But man, you two are bad at stealth.”

“Hi, boi,” said Gavin, instinctively nervous to be caught kissing Michael’s boyfriend. But Michael marched up to him, faux-angry, and kissed him too. _Our boyfriend_ , Jeremy had said. 

Michael kissed him until they were both out of breath, then drew back and smirked. 

“What’s up?” he asked, nonchalant. 

“Seems like _you_ , Michael,” said Jeremy. Michael gasped in mock offense before going to kiss Jeremy as well.

That, luckily, was the moment Jack came in. 

“Whoa whoa whoa, PDA in the office,” he said calmly. “Hope they weren’t bothering you, Gavin.”

The lads looked at each other. 

When Geoff came in a few minutes later, they were all still laughing. 

“What is so fucking funny?” he demanded, looking at Jack. 

“I don’t know,” said Jack. “I’m just glad they’re all talking to each other.”

“Don’t talk about me like I’m not here,” Gavin reprimanded him, even though he shared his sentiment. 

“It’s just been a while since you _were_ here, really,” said Jack. 

“I suppose you’re right,” said Gavin. He sat down, and Michael gave his hand a quick squeeze and one of his amazing smiles, making warmth shoot through Gavin’s body. Jeremy offered a thumbs up.

“Kissed and made up?” asked Geoff, squinting at them over the top of the monitors.

Gavin supposed they were going to have to tell Geoff exactly what had happened at some point, but for now he settled for simple honesty.

“Yeah.”

“Sweet. So will you film Play Pals today?”

“Fuck yeah,” said Michael. “Let’s go, boi!”

And Gavin went.

**Author's Note:**

> Will I ever stop with the Mavin polyamory get-together stories? Signs point to NEVER. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed! Comments encouraged if you did!


End file.
